Have you read the book about getting babies to sleep through the night? My wife did it with both of our kids and it was a godsend. Some people don't like the structure of it, or letting kids cry themselves to sleep but our results were fantastic. My sister also did it with all 3 of her kids with great results.
It is called something like "on being babywise". I don't know if it would be a fit for you but I would highly reccomend checking it out. My sister is extremely non structured and my wife is structured down to the minute so I saw it with both ends of the spectrum.
What we think, or what we know, or what we believe, is in the end, of little consequence. The only thing of consequence is what we do. -John Ruskin