Well you said all comments are welcome, and this will be as unscientific as it gets.
I readily acknowledge that consistency of poo (hard vs soft) is determined by amount of time in the large intestine, and that within 12-36 hrs of a night of excessive drinking something foul smelling will exit me. I've not had any problems with constipation and I don't party hard more than a handful of times per year. What gets me weirded out is the crazy fluctuation in volume, with seemingly no change in the amount I ate. Day in day out I'll often eat the same quantity of food, and then one random day I'll unleash something ridiculous in size, what I refer to as a "Posture Changer". WTF?! Of course, when I try to give the details to my wife and get her input she doesn't even look up from her crossword as she states, "girls don't poop." Discussion closed.