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Old 02-25-2008, 07:08 PM   #21
Nikki Young
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Congrats!
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Old 02-25-2008, 08:21 PM   #22
Jared Buffie
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Congrats!

We were planning a home birth with my son, but ended up at the hospital since Suzanne's water broke 3 weeks early. Luckily, we spent 2 hours grilling our midwife about what to expect if we had to transport. Good thing we did! The biggest thing we learned from the experience was that we were glad we had a strong birth plan outlined and never wavered on any decisions, even though the nurse looked at us like we were child abusers for declining the Vit K, silver nitrate drops and the hep vaccine. By the end, I think they were happy to see us go!

My daughter was born at home and it was absolutely awesome!

Anyway, get ready for the biggest blessing of your life. The months leading up to the birth of your first child is one of the most amazing periods of your life. I often look back on those days and smile....
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Old 02-26-2008, 05:57 AM   #23
Garrett Smith
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Thanks for all the encouragement and support everyone.

About the "Expecting" book, even our OB told us he didn't like it! He suggested "Pregnancy for Dummies". He's actually been open to "alternative" remedies so far, but he's not open to midwives, homebirths, or even the local birthing center, which really sucks.

The insurance thing really sucks too. They won't cover anything at the local birthing center (where my wife wanted to go first). If we paid the birthing center out-of-pocket (5g+)and had to go to the hospital, the hospital right next door to the birthing center isn't on our insurance, and our OB doesn't have privileges at that hospital. Obviously, homebirth wouldn't be covered by insurance, yet it is only half the price of the birthing center. If we were doing a homebirth, there's only one hospital in town that will even let our midwife in to continue care, and that's not the hospital on our insurance, nor is it the hospital our OB has privileges in. What a frickin' racket. Here's praying for a healthy, trouble-free delivery!
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Old 02-26-2008, 08:03 AM   #24
Tirzah Harper
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As far as parenting goes:

Expect to constantly question yourself and wonder if you're doing anything right at all. If you're not wondering that most of the time, you're not doing it right. Questioning yourself is the way it should be.
Apologize when you're wrong. Eat your pride and let your kid save face. You're the adult, it's your job to show them how it should be done, which means if someone's got to suck it up and be the bigger person, it's you. But make sure they are aware of the real things that you go through as well.

Your ideals right now are awesome. Be ready to watch most of them burst like overfilled balloons, because your kid will have their own independent mind, personality, and opinions which will probably NOT agree with yours. Sorry.

Your kid will, 90% chance, be normal. You should question that as much as you do your parenting. That's normal too.

Forgive yourself. Get up and go get some.

And hey, congratulations!
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Old 02-26-2008, 10:52 AM   #25
Jamila Bey
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CONGRATS!!!

Your wife is 13 weeks behind me, so I imagine in a couple years we'll have little lifters we can send to visit one another!

While I can't (yet) offer any parenting advice, I can say that I'm sure jealous that you'll be doing a homebirth. I wanted a birthing center (Our apartment walls are not thick enough for what I believe should be a private celebration... The hallway aural spectators would be too much for me!) but Hubby is too pro c-section to consider such a thing. So I found a doc whose philosophies are like my own anti-intervention ones, and we'll see what happens. (I geniuninely believe that I'll be getting my way!!!)

Thanks for all of your advice thru the boards and the years- my own pregnancy has been giddy and happy and healthy and I hope the same you you and your wife and babe.
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Old 02-26-2008, 11:01 AM   #26
Eric Kerr
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Garrett Smith View Post
Thanks for all the encouragement and support everyone.

About the "Expecting" book, even our OB told us he didn't like it! He suggested "Pregnancy for Dummies". He's actually been open to "alternative" remedies so far, but he's not open to midwives, homebirths, or even the local birthing center, which really sucks.

The insurance thing really sucks too. They won't cover anything at the local birthing center (where my wife wanted to go first). If we paid the birthing center out-of-pocket (5g+)and had to go to the hospital, the hospital right next door to the birthing center isn't on our insurance, and our OB doesn't have privileges at that hospital. Obviously, homebirth wouldn't be covered by insurance, yet it is only half the price of the birthing center. If we were doing a homebirth, there's only one hospital in town that will even let our midwife in to continue care, and that's not the hospital on our insurance, nor is it the hospital our OB has privileges in. What a frickin' racket. Here's praying for a healthy, trouble-free delivery!
@Jared. Sounds like we had similar experiences. Had to transfer with 1st daughter. The non-permanent staff doctors were great it was the idiot head honcho OB and the oncall OB that were difficult (although we worked it out with the oncall OB but ONLY because we had enough knowledge to make her understand that we knew what we were doing). Had baby at home with the 2nd daughter.

Garrett, oooo, don't get me started on the state of midwifery in most of America. Suffice to say right now it is a felony in MO for a midwife to catch a baby (catching the baby is considered the practice of medicine). We could have avoided the transfer to the hospital if our midwife could have been able to administer pitocin (it only took a tiny bit to clear the cervical lip that was impeding my wife from being able to push). Fortunately, we've got some decent legislation in the works to hopefully get midwives legalized.

We paid for the midwife for births out of pocket. And of course had to the pay the hospital as well for the 1st birth (but insurance covered most of that). What a flippin' racket.

The part I find amusing is that my HRA will cover the costs of a midwife (well, if you don't live in a place where they are potential felons!).

I ran some numbers once and MO could save $26 million to $50 million dollars a year in delivery costs if they got the Cesearean rate down to WHO recommended levels (10-15%), the point at which Ceseareans have been shown to no longer improve birth outcomes.

Oh and as far as not being able to admit you to a hospital. That is crap. If you have insurance, they will take you (maybe not with a smile), they may actually treat you like crap, but they will take you. You just need to be up to speed and ready to advocate for your wife regarding procedures you want and don't want for her and for your child. Although, depending on the reason for the tranfer they may not be willing to negotiate much. Good idea to have a birth plan written up, although be advised even your own OB does not have to follow the birth plan, nevermind say the oncall doctor or nurse if you are transfering without parallel care in place.

One other thing about hospitals at least in MO. The woman has the choice regarding what to accept and not to accept. You can run interference, but the woman has to say yes or no. Nevermind the fact that depending at what point they are in the labor, most women are not really cognizant of the outside world and the last thing they want or need is to be making medical decisions. Hiring a doula can helpful in this regard or the midwife may be able to act as doula if a transfer is needed.
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Old 02-26-2008, 03:11 PM   #27
sarena kopciel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Garrett Smith View Post
Thanks for all the encouragement and support everyone.

About the "Expecting" book, even our OB told us he didn't like it! He suggested "Pregnancy for Dummies". He's actually been open to "alternative" remedies so far, but he's not open to midwives, homebirths, or even the local birthing center, which really sucks.

The insurance thing really sucks too. They won't cover anything at the local birthing center (where my wife wanted to go first). If we paid the birthing center out-of-pocket (5g+)and had to go to the hospital, the hospital right next door to the birthing center isn't on our insurance, and our OB doesn't have privileges at that hospital. Obviously, homebirth wouldn't be covered by insurance, yet it is only half the price of the birthing center. If we were doing a homebirth, there's only one hospital in town that will even let our midwife in to continue care, and that's not the hospital on our insurance, nor is it the hospital our OB has privileges in. What a frickin' racket. Here's praying for a healthy, trouble-free delivery!
That truly sucks since my daughter is covered fully(midwife charges 6000$) less the 500$ deductible for a home birth!!
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Old 02-26-2008, 03:55 PM   #28
Paul Findley
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http://www.unassistedhomebirth.com/f...yquestions.htm

sorry...I just could not resist
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Old 02-26-2008, 04:49 PM   #29
Garrett Smith
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Actually Paul, thanks for posting that.

While I do want a midwife there, I think I just decided that I wanted to be the one who "catches" my newborn...if my wife is okay with that, of course.
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Old 02-26-2008, 06:01 PM   #30
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Garrett, that's cool, nothing wrong with wanting to be hands on. As you can imagine, things can get annoying in the hospital. We had twins and they were going to evac me from the delivery room if things went south, I was like, no way (I have been in ORs before during open heart surgery) but alas it was not for *my* protection, rather one fewer witness to any possible freak show, but I digress. They did yell at me for walking out of our birthing room with our latest kid, policy is that if your in the hall, baby is in a roll around thing, again, its for the health of the child and to protect the hospital from liability...anyway just ignore all the advice and have fun.
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