Let's see...2300 miles from Louisville, KY to Aromas, CA. Assuming we're talking about a motorized scooter, maybe I could average 20 miles an hour, so 115 hours, or about 5 days. Course, that doesn't count eating, pooping, and sleeping. Nor inclement weather. If we're talking about a human-powered scooter (i.e., Razor scooter), it might take me a few weeks longer, but no one will want to mess with my pushing leg. My right leg would be stronger than Chuck Norris' by the time I got there. And I'd probably weigh in at the 115lb class.
I'm still mulling the mail plane thing. When do you need me to let you know?