Dealing with the Ego
Thought i would see if i could get some discussion going on this. Even though i have been training BJJ for a few years i still find that i deal with my ego alot. Not so much that i stomp around the mat and get mad when i lose, or that i try to slam my way out of subs. I guess i just get down on myself when i get tapped by someone who has alot less experience than me or that i feel i should able to beat. I look at it as a reflection on my lack of skill.
I've been at Straight Blast Gym in Portland OR about a year and a half. I got my blue belt after 8 months there. I had several years experience before that training alot of no-gi in Tallahassee Florida. There wasn't a black belt in town, just a bunch of guys who would get together and train, a few of them had blue belts from other instructors in the state. It was not bad training by a long shot, but training at SBG has helped my technique alot. I am not the biggest guy a 5'10" 160lbs, but i feel my conditioning is good and i dont get overpowered by guys my same size.
The other day i was rolling with someone in class, bigger guy, has not been there that long, but just super strong and aggressive. I went for a takedown, he sprawled, and ended up getting in the basic headlock position from top. This is one of the first positions we learn to escape from, and i kept trying to get out, but this guy had monster strength. Then he trapped my arm between his legs for the kimura/armbar. There was not much i could do.
Its frustarating, because i am more technical than him, and i knew how to get out and what to do, i just could not do it. I guess sometimes strength overcomes technique.
My wife trains too and talking to her about it she says not to compare myself to other people, its about comparing how i performed in the past to how i perform now. Its just tough, especially in a sport like BJJ, where your goal is to submit the other person, so obviously he becomes a basis for comparison.
I dont ever see myself quitting i just need to learn to see it all as part of the journey of improving, so i dont get frustrated after being tapped by less technical, though perhaps bigger and stronger opponents.