The bar needs to contact the upper thigh in the clean - but I will disagree with Keith - it shouldn't bang in a manner that would send it flying away from you. That would require both the bar being allowed to get away from your body first, and the hips coming too far through it.
In your case, the issue is mainly that you don't shift your weight back as you separate the bar form the floor. You're lifting it straight up from where it starts, so you're forced to chase it with your body, which will prevent you from staying over it long enough, and opening up all the way, which will then prevent the full contact of bar/body.
So when you break the bar, get the weight back toward the heels more while maintaining the same posture. Keep pushing the bar back as it passes the knees to maintain your balance while keeping the shoulders somewhat in front of the bar. Don't explode until the bar is high on your thighs. When you do, keep pushing the bar in to yourself with your lats and open your hips a bit more - think of vertical legs and shoulders slightly behind the hips.