Thread: Yael's Journal
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Old 06-05-2012, 11:10 AM   #89
Yael Grauer
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 1,590
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Heh, thanks, Derek! I think things will be less stressful for me in a couple months once I'm done paying off the debt I racked up traveling, lol.

What did your friend say that I wrote about?

I guess I'm trying to sort of figure out what all of the different issues are. I think the hardest part is that I am so sick of people trying to coach me when we're supposed to be rolling or drilling. There are a few who are actually helpful and they're usually really small purple belts and they say stuff in a few sentences.

Other than them, though, I feel like I can't even go to a class without hearing 20 minute lectures about people's theories about BJJ instead of actually doing BJJ.

It's not even about the gender dynamic--e.g. noticing that a lot of men can't be around women without telling them what to do...and a lot of the time that's not about them wanting to teach me anything but about them wanting to hear themselves talk... ...and I'm sure from their perspective they're like, "I'm just trying to be helpful and this girl's such a bitch," which is probably also true some of the time, haha.

I guess in my life right now I have to listen to people and try to make sense of their theories all day long and at the gym I just want to do work. At least in the hard classes people tell you their theories while you are actually doing something instead of stopping to demonstrate and getting upset if I don't act appropriately enthused.

And I don't want to argue with 225-lb. guys about why I'm not working for an armbar from guard. Or why I decided to go for a collar choke instead of a rear-naked choke (hint: because when you spaz out, I can keep the collar grip in.) I honestly think it's pretty insulting for people to point out things I could do while I roll, like I can't trust my own instincts or something. I mean, I can't even imagine stopping someone mid-roll and saying, "Why aren't you going for xyz here? You totally had it." Even when I roll with new people (er, new girls since my coach won't allow girls to roll with guys under 2 stripes) and give them pointers, I usually just say, "remember the elbow escape?" or remind them to get underhooks or whatnot, I don't sit there and say, "Okay, go for an armbar. I'll stop resisting. It's drill time now." I hate people.

This is honestly the best gym I've ever trained at, though, so this may be more reflective of my own personal issues than anything.

At least my coach is letting me roll after class now, even if I'm not yet allowed to do the classes I wanted which he said I could do.
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