Stop trying to lift the bar and just move your body properly - the bar will come along with you. WHne you set your starting position, engage your lats and relax your arms. That will help you keep the bar close to your body without rowing it with your arms.
In addition to what Steve suggested, try doing snatch deadlifts slowly, focusing on shifting your weight back to your heels right off the floor and keeping it there all the way up, engaging the back and pushing the bar into your body - always as close as possible without dragging. In your finish position, weight on the heels, bar in full contact with the hips, arms relaxed, and shoulders slightly behind the hips.
When those feel good, try doing 1 or 2 immediately followed by a snatch, trying to mimic the DL mechanics. Mainly focus on bar close and being patient - forget the arms and trust the legs and hips to get the bar moving up.