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Old 06-20-2008, 11:18 AM   #1
Garrett Smith
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Default I'm Training To Ruin A Marathon (The Onion)

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81413

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Sure, you might not end up ruining every inch of the marathon, but just imagine the looks on their faces when 300-plus people fail to cross that finish line.

Race day's tomorrow. No more excuses. No more letting my own fears, or my wife's sobbing pleas, or the combined efforts of city and state law enforcement agencies get in the way of me accomplishing my goal. No, sir. Not this time.

I've trained too hard for that.
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Old 06-23-2008, 04:14 AM   #2
Allen Yeh
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Sometimes I feel like The Onion tries too hard.
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"And for crying out loud. Don't go into the pain cave. I can't stress this enough. Your Totem Animal won't be in there to help you. You'll be on your own. The Pain Cave is for cowards.
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Old 06-23-2008, 10:15 AM   #3
Steven Low
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Allen Yeh View Post
Sometimes I feel like The Onion tries too hard.
I still laughed though.
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