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Old 01-06-2007, 08:39 AM   #1
Brad Hirakawa
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Default 1 way NOT to fast.

If you REALY want to loose some pesky muscle mass:

Start at age 6, land on your bicycle handlebars and require extensive abdominal surgery. Then chow down on Roman sized meat and fiber fest 27 years later. Adhesions will cause a painful intestinal blockage, which will require the insertion of nasal gastric tube to suck out the 1.2 liters of bile soaked pre-poop generated each day by the intestinal traffic congestion.

A three day mandatory fast will follow, which will include some laughter from the nurses after you ask them if the dextrose in the saline bag is from organic sugar cane, harvested from fields on which grass fed cows graze. I blame that question on the quarter in die doses of intravenous Dilaudid.

Enter Scripps hospital 189lbs, 9% body fat. Exit three days later 182lbs, 15% body fat.

Brad

ps: pre-poop is a scientific medical term
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Old 01-06-2007, 09:38 AM   #2
Brad Hirakawa
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This proves a high carbohydrate, low protein and low fat (100-0-0) diet will help you loose weight.

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Old 01-06-2007, 10:07 AM   #3
Scott Kustes
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That sounds like a pleasurable experience.
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Old 01-06-2007, 10:27 AM   #4
Steve Shafley
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Ug. That sounds like quite the ordeal.
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Old 01-06-2007, 11:19 AM   #5
Brad Hirakawa
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Yep.. quite a Happy New Year from the Fates.

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Old 01-07-2007, 12:20 AM   #6
Eva Twardokens
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Hirakawa View Post
If you REALY want to loose some pesky muscle mass:

Start at age 6, land on your bicycle handlebars and require extensive abdominal surgery. Then chow down on Roman sized meat and fiber fest 27 years later. Adhesions will cause a painful intestinal blockage, which will require the insertion of nasal gastric tube to suck out the 1.2 liters of bile soaked pre-poop generated each day by the intestinal traffic congestion.

A three day mandatory fast will follow, which will include some laughter from the nurses after you ask them if the dextrose in the saline bag is from organic sugar cane, harvested from fields on which grass fed cows graze. I blame that question on the quarter in die doses of intravenous Dilaudid.

Enter Scripps hospital 189lbs, 9% body fat. Exit three days later 182lbs, 15% body fat.

Brad

ps: pre-poop is a scientific medical term
Brad, now that's just sexy.
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Old 01-07-2007, 09:40 AM   #7
kevin mckay
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Eva, did I ever tell you about the time I bumped my head and soiled myself
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Old 01-08-2007, 06:27 PM   #8
Brad Hirakawa
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Sexy... sexy is when I asked the nurse (nurse#2) what three questions she would ask of Buddha, Jesus or God, etc.. if she ever met one of them. The opiate blocked my memory of her response, but not mine.

I said:

1. How often to you cut your toenails (insert omnipotent being name)?
2. Why do mine have that toenail-specific smell after I cut them?
3. Why do I like that smell?

Freaking opiates are crazy.
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Old 01-08-2007, 06:50 PM   #9
Robb Wolf
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kevin mckay View Post
Eva, did I ever tell you about the time I bumped my head and soiled myself
Kevin-
That's freaking hilarious!

Brad-
In the immortal words of Rutman:Fudge.
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Old 01-10-2007, 04:30 PM   #10
Jeremy Jones
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I eat pre-poop every day.



Was it a full blockage, or just partial?
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