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Old 04-09-2007, 05:44 PM   #1
-Ross Hunt
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Default LA Fitness--A review

I know that many Performance Menu readers must be troubled by the following question: In a world of affordably-priced and convenient big-box health clubs that all offer perfect atmosphere for training gains and lots of different fringe benefits, how to choose? Which is more worth your 15 dollars a visit-- the economy of 24 Hour Fitness, or the classic tradition of Gold's Gym? Which fringe benefit will better further your quest for elite strength and power-- The lunk alarm of Planet Fitness, or the Juice Bar of LA Fitness?

And since all inquiry here at the PMenu is always conducted in the spirit of scientific inquiry, we must not limit ourselves to second-hand information or conjectural theorizing: Only personally-collected empirical evidence will do.

First Entry:

LA Fitness, Las Colinas at Irving

Price for 1-day walk in: $15
Ratio of Cardio machines: Weight machines:set benches: squat racks: ~5:4:3:1.
Ratio of Men to Women: 3:2
Ratio of ATTRACTIVE Men to Women: At least 5:1
Gaydar Reading: 7.3 (NTTAWT...! )
Piece of training equipment worth having: Multipulley system has this opening between the ergonomic chin-up grips that's just big enough for you to put a leg through when you're lowering down through a 1-leg lever. That and dumbbells to at least 125 pounds.
Number of olympic weightlifting platforms complete with jerk racks and werk-san training sets:
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.....
Number of guys clearly on a rigorous vitamin supplementation program: 2. 1 of whom actually accompanied at least 50% of his sets with the exclamation, "Yeeeeah, BUDAAAAAY! LIGHTWEIGHT!!!"
Number of overweight or obviously untrained girls ordered to do 'plyometrics' by their LA Fitness trainers: At least 10.
Number of girls doing chin-ups: 1 (Hey, not bad... )
Number of Males in tight jeans and backless tank-tops with nipples showing humping the air as they incline bench press 155: One too many.
Lamest performance (besides author incline benching 135): Two 235 pound+ dudes arguing about whether to use wrists-in or wrists-out grip on 30-pound-fixed weight EZ curl bar.
Most impressive performance: Guy who weighed ~100 kilos DLing 365 for a couple sets of 6-9 reps without maximal effort and good tech.
Cost of 16 ounce Banana Bliss Smoothy with two scoops of whey protein: ~$6-7.

Rating:

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Old 04-09-2007, 06:09 PM   #2
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Ross,
Thats got to be at least an 8 on the Gaydar!
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Old 04-09-2007, 06:19 PM   #3
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Fixed-weight EZ-curl bars drive me absolutely bat-shit insane.
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Old 04-09-2007, 06:41 PM   #4
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Ha...yeah I had a membership to La Shitness yrs back when I was still living at home with the rents. Basically it was a country club for singles without the liquor. I was the weird guy who did "squats" and "deadlifts." You know those exercises only steroid freaks or muscleheads were seen doing. My lifting buddy and I would laugh at the girls who walked around all dolled up with loads of makeup on looking like they were on their way to the club.

Never seen sooo many treadmills in one building in my entire life. Each one with their own tv...lol
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Old 04-09-2007, 07:09 PM   #5
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my fav memory is trying to cancel my membership.....you have to walk in....and then they can tell you to write the corporate office in LA....and they will cancel it in a month or two......wait...I can't cancel it here where I signed up and I have to write a letter so you guys can bill me 2x more?? F&*& them.......that and they didnt have any of these so I had to leave......

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Old 04-09-2007, 07:14 PM   #6
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Yeah BUT they had the best locker rooms in town and the hottest girls working the front desk. The final straw for me was the towel policy. The rule was you had to wipe down the machine after you finished using it. Not like anyone ever broke a sweat tho...lol

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my fav memory is trying to cancel my membership.....you have to walk in....and then they can tell you to write the corporate office in LA....and they will cancel it in a month or two......wait...I can't cancel it here where I signed up and I have to write a letter so you guys can bill me 2x more?? F&*& them.......that and they didnt have any of these so I had to leave......

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Old 04-09-2007, 07:17 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Forbis View Post
Fixed-weight EZ-curl bars drive me absolutely bat-shit insane.
Word. The lighter versions are perfect for breaking windows and generally causing a ruckus.
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Old 04-09-2007, 07:18 PM   #8
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At least in Canada its law that you have the right to cancel a service by phone.
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Old 04-09-2007, 07:22 PM   #9
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I never understood why they bolted down the single flat benches to the floor....yes they were bolted...like I was going to steal one??....but I'll give them one prop....there was always plenty of room in the free weight area....although I got yelled at for doing squats in the curl rack....
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Old 04-09-2007, 07:40 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Liberati View Post
Yeah BUT they had the best locker rooms in town and the hottest girls working the front desk. The final straw for me was the towel policy. The rule was you had to wipe down the machine after you finished using it. Not like anyone ever broke a sweat tho...lol
Yes, because inert sweat is so dangerous ewwww. But after we "workout" lets go have a burger at McNasties.
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